Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Lately I've been pretty stressed over money.
June's business is floundering. She needs a massive infusion that I can't muster. Her insinuations are that it is my fault since I don't work hard enough nor make enough money. I waste too much when I decide it is time for us to go back home and let the girls know more about who they are. She has stated the main reason she hasn't made it is due to my flagrant abuse of our resources, and the only success she's had is due to support from her own.
I've picked up a few side jobs in the last couple months to reassert my commitment, hence the lower amount of posts. It wouldn't serve to do basic math now, as to years of income in - vs - income out. Doing basic math = What I've earned - what I spend + what she earns (max 1.5 million) - investment = Damn, Korea, where's the bitches with liquor flowing outta their teets??? Good thing I love my kids, hear what I'm sayin??
But the only thing that matters is now, right? Never mind that you came with nothing and made what is; the only thing that matters is: how you gonna sort this out and represent, right? Well, work more so she'll shut the fuck up! Of the gigs I picked up, one was a complete disaster: I taught some kid with awesome English skills, winning speech contests, bitter about not getting accepted at top schools. I knew as soon as I met her why she hadn't been: serious emotional imbalance. By the second lesson she was going on about how her father beat her mom. I should have walked away. Instead, all I thought was: money. This will make June happy, as I could buy her a nice anniversary present, you know what I'm sayin!
Sadly, now it's my fault June is losing money.
One day I made the kid upset when I kicked the computer at June's hogwon. I spent a Sunday trying to get it to work as kid was coming in the evening and I needed the comp for the lesson, and when still it refused to comply by the time she showed I gave it a kick. It wasn't a serious kick, but to hear kid tell it I picked it up and smashed it against the wall repeatedly. Now I'm bad teacher. It has been a while since I've had to deal with individual mother neurosis, but I reminded myself that in the future, pass on the ones that just don't feel right. This one did not feel right from the get go: Stoopid. I suppose I could make myself feel better by focusing on how the kid also said her former English teacher had been a US Navy seal who had messed her up, but it doesn't. I should have known better, between showing anger and telling the mom it wouldn't work out.
* * *
I also should have known better before I had a mini meltdown in front of one of the board members when I told exactly what is.
My two year contract is up for renewal; I just may end up back in the trenches teaching again as I shared far too much about the general perception of the CEO among his peers when discussing fair compensation to meet what is expected from my end.
What's a waeg to do? When in Singapore last, their CEO met with me and made it fairly clear that the antics from our top representative had been duly noted.
Of course, the board member was not surprised. I try to imagine what could be going through his mind: This is irrelevant. We are well aware of his strengths and weaknesses. All I care about is getting the most out of you for the smallest investment. I know! I will think: why you know what's best for company? You can only understand a little of our special situation because you fuck and impregnate one of our lesser, dirty girls who would go waeg. You shut up and sit down! Write letter, make design, and smile! You only get this much raise. My hands are tied, this is the situation.
Translation: you only get this much raise because this is what we must give you by Korean law, as Koreans get. We want to treat you exactly the same as we would a Korean, aren't we progressive?!
Nevermind that the benefits and bonuses available to Koreans are not available to you, nor are basic services. No, you can't yet get a phone directly in your name, nor can you get a credit card directly in your name, nor can you get into the local clubs and certain businesses. An international banking card is still iffy. You are your dirty wife's bitch. That is not our problem, we are treating you the same as we would a normal person.
Should I dare to say it? I'm not a normal person by that standard. Pay me more or GTFO.
The place I'm at prefers waegs with the F5. They think the Korean connection makes something special, which it does. Dae Han Min Gook!
All I can hope is that my experience will make it better for the next crop, as the Asians have done in my country. Eat that shit, deal with it, and know your place, son! There is a chance your kids could be awesome and have a great position, but they could end up as shit. LOL! This is South Korea they probably will end up as shit, unless of course they marry pure Koreans and their kids learn what is right. . .
It is on five years on with the same place and I do feel the need to change things up. I'm the kind of guy who needs new situations to thrive, and I've never truly excelled at office politics. That is evident in how I've been toyed with consistently since taking the position, and responded generally well, albeit with a few notable exceptions when I've opened my big mouth. This will increase over the next two years, as I will become less willing to suffer fools. There is much to be mined at my current gig, and I do feel like I'm doing something good. Still, still. It is all about maximizing return on skill, talent, and investment now, isn't it. Once you've proven you can shake it, if they don wanna pay the tab, shouldn't we move on? Let em sort out a new guy who has no bias nor sense; it's cheaper, right?
I'm gonna be old eating at the soup kitchen.
See you there.