Yesterday began with fashioning the worst mobile Christmas tree evar. After killing a second tree in five years, I thought letting one be free range while I work out soil acidity then dig 'em up and keep 'em indoors was a smart course of action. Instead, I thought of making this cuz I saw it in the internetz:
After pretty much ignoring most of the directions and watching it get tangled right the fuck up:
Bought a few groceries in between, primarily dirty cheap liquor with mixes, Brussels sprouts, and broccoli.
Then it was Christmas specials with the girls while waiting for a bunch of Christian Christmas carolers to come by and collect our donation to the soup kitchen. Kidding! There is no soup kitchen. But I'm sure they are more than willing to pass around ramen packs to relatives who spend their time collecting cardboard boxes and others in predicament known to the church. It's all cool.
We watched The Grinch: it's always a favorite. Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph, then Home Alone have been the repertoire in the past. This year I decided to mix it up and watch an old one from childhood: An American Christmas Carol, starring Henry Winkler:
I watched it while drinking beer and wrapping presents and Christmas stockings. I figure I got about 3 more lols outta it then the "So this is what I remember most from 1979"s. Wasn't sure if I wanted to show that tomorrow or Napoleon Dynamite again. The bling on Christmas Future is so 1984. As I was about to decide, I was distracted by figuring out a better way to wrap, then forgetting it once I realized that smacking on huge wads of duct tape was not only easier and fun, but would make the experience far more rewarding once everyone realized they needed scissors to open their gifts. What you work for is always sweeter, right? Hopefully they'll get to the scissors I stuck under the tree first, they are the easiest ones to open.
In about 4 hours I have to be bright eyed and bushy-tailed, cooking fowl.
Stop drinking beer!