Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years

Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years: Version 2.0!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Dirty Bird - Oversexed Ape!

Last night I got a call from Dirty Bird.  I was kind of surprised, as a while back I said I couldn't extend him a short term loan to help process a visa for a nice Fillipina he'd met during his wayward travels.  He was pretty cheesed at the time, but in the end it seemed I did him a favor: turned out she wanted him to also send her a pile of money to rebuild her parents' house, at which he ceased all contact.  So much for true love.

Dude, why you so bummed out?  Cmon, I didn't call you up to watch you sit around being all mopy and bringing me down!  I'll get us some jagerbombs, that'll sort you out!

Aight, sorry mang.  I'm just a bit stressed right now, y'know?  I've got a pile at work, only a bit of time for home, and I'm worked up over all that stoopid shit about us bad waegs in the Korean media.  I mean, it's 2012!  Didn't they learn anything from our stoopid mistakes?  I guess not, since they've got to make the same ones, or maybe it's all about getting some payback for history.  Whatever!  It's such bullshit!

Dude, you're looking at it all wrong!  It's easier to pick up women now!  You should thank those losers in the media!  Think about it: what kind of man do most woman want?  And I'm not talking marriage!  For that, she wants someone predictable, easy to figure out and control.  Stable.  But when she wants to get her rut on, who she gonna talk to?  Some pimply faced, emasculated nerd who's gonna expect her to bow down, show proper manners, and give it all up for him?  Don't think so.  She's going after Mr. Fun Time, the oversexed ape, who won't expect her to be nothin' but herself, while also seein' to her needs proper.  That's me, mother fucker!  You know what I'm sayin'!  We owe those guys our thanks, even if it is all bullshit!  They're making it easier for us!  Well, at least for me.  You're married and let your wife keep your dick in a jar under the sink, so you're beyond hope hahahahaha.

I was stunned.  It made a twisted kind of sense, and I shuddered. 

Don't be like that dude!  Knowing you're shit isn't such a bad place to be!  At least then you know you've hit bottom, and you don't need to follow all the conventions and rules, since it wouldn't get you anywhere anyway!  Be free, dude, be free!

The night proceeded as a night with dirty bird usually does: drinks, carousing, a good time had by all.  But as I walked home I thought more about what he said.  Would being seen as the oversexed ape actually be more beneficial?  I suppose it is better than being seen as the emasculated effeminate dweeb.

Time for coffee.

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