Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years

Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years: Version 2.0!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Dirty Bird in Need!

I was sitting in my office collating TPS reports when my phone lit up: Dirty Bird.

It had been a while since I'd heard from DB: the last time he'd near started a brawl and ended the night with a nasty gash above his lip when his face met the pavement hard after pretty much chugging two bottles of soju.  Seems he tried to call when I was away, and I ignored a couple of late night missives, but as it's around three in the afternoon and things are a bit dull right now, I pick up:

Dude!  How's it going mang?  Long time!  Hey, tonight is a goooood night to hit the town!  Let's go out, fry up some pig marinated in soju while drinking soju!  I found some cool places to hang man, let's do this!

He seems somewhat subdued, a bit off.  I lay it out to him: no can do my friend.  I'm on the wagon for the next month, two weeks in as we speak.

Wagon? WTF? You going to tell me you found Jesus next?  Keeerist!  What is the world coming to?  Listen, at least come out for a bit, drink juice or some shit.  I need to ask you something.

Alarm bells sound.  When DB asks for something, it usually involves skirting regulations and laws while requiring a fair amount of commitment to see through.  I cringe.

What's up bud?  I can't really make it tonight, need to head up to the big smoke for a weekly seminar, Thursday is a company dinner, going camping this weekend.  What do you need?  I might be able to help now.

Silence.  Then:

OK, here's the score:  You know I've been carrying on with this real sweet Filipina for the last couple of years, visitin' her during vacations and the like (I did not, but didn't want to stop the flow of the story), sending a couple hundred or so every month to her mom and dad. . . well, I really like this girl, I think she may be the one.  She's sweet, hot, and really treats me good, you know?  So I want to bring her here, but I have this small issue. . . you see I need a bank statement for the visa, showing that I can support her when she comes, and well right now things are a little dry, you know, I just sent money home to pay taxes on the house and all that, and well, I need the bank statement like next week, so I'm wondering if you could maybe, like you know, lend me about 10 mil for just a few days, I'll give it right back dude, just to show that the cash is in my bank, I'll owe you big time. . .

At this point I'm too stunned to say anything as his voice fades off and I stop listening.  The fact that DB is talking about a woman as being 'the one' is shocking enough, especially knowing what he's been doing with himself the last few years.  The fact that he would consider becoming domesticated is mind boggling.  I try to process all this and realize that he also wants a short term loan of ten million won so he can process her visa.  Too many WTFs to process, when suddenly I hear:

. . .and so yeah, if you know a good doctor in town too, that would be great so I can get that cleaned up before she comes, it would be very uncool to give that to her you know?  Can you help a brother out?

Wait, what?  Dude, did you just say what. . .?  OK, for one, I need time to think about the cash thing.  For the other, don't even think about the Wonj, it'll get back to your boss in no time.  Drag your sorry ass up the big smoke to the clinic in the 'twon.  Pick me up some Ritalin while you're there.  And learn to wrap it for god's sake.  I'll call you back in a couple of days.  I'm a bit too abrupt and harsh as I hang up.

My pleasant quiet mood has evaporated.  I'm pissed, confused, surprised, unbelieving all at the same time.  Ten million is no small sum, and I do a quick google to learn that he may not need that much to show finances for the visa.  I'll have to dig more.  Pulling that kind of cash would be difficult if not impossible.  How would he live his life once she got here?  I think of all the stories I've experienced or heard about Dirty Bird, and know that bringing this girl into the mix would most likely not be a good idea.  I should say no for her sake.  Throw the whole doctor thing in it, and the no side becomes stronger. 

What to do?

Time for coffee while I mull this over.

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