Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years

Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years: Version 2.0!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Compromise!

I've written extensively about the fights June and I have.  One of the characteristics I liked about June when we first met was her passion and strength.  I've met plenty of guys who will tell you about passionate, strong women who are in fact completely batshit insane, but June ain't that.  I should be thankful, right?  Marriage is about compromise.

My only issue over the years is how I often feel I've compromised far more than she has.  I accept her family and have never, until recently, said a word about any shit that came from them.  I've always supported her decisions and course of action as usually they are based on sound footing, despite how things have rarely worked out the way she intended.  This is worth mentioning as her mistakes have cost us thousands of dollars over the years, but I have tried not to use this as ammunition in fights and to continue to support her.  I've worked like a bastard running my own business, now in corporate, to provide not only a solid financial base for our family, but respect as well.  I've studied extensively the history, traditions, and language of my adopted country, so that I understand her more, despite how she knows next to nothing about mine.  I've sucked it up countless times, been contrite when it was needed to smooth things over, despite how this is a rather distasteful man's job; June, like most women, will not accept responsibility for her faults and admit she is in the wrong, or will at best give lip service to it while riding my ass for months about that time I stayed out till six drinking with the guys.  She's cold, she's hot, indifferent and apathetic, then involved and focused.  Her extremes, while greatly disparate, are usually manageable.  Every three to four months or so they become unendurable, but I remind myself that I do mostly like her and I have two amazing daughters that have me wrapped around their little fingers.

That's just how it should be, right?

So what are my faults?  I drink and smoke too much, I wish I could spend more time with them, I can be too quick to anger, I should exercise more.  I allow myself to react when I should exercise more control over my emotions.  I've gotten better at that over the years, but still there is room for improvement.  Generally, I don't suffer fools, but then I can be willingly foolish at times.  I like having things at least generally planned out and find disorganization irksome, but living in Korea married to June has made me less irritable when dealing with that, and my current job is far less disorganized than many I've had over the years here, but then I am mostly in charge of my own shit. 

So what's this all about?  Reconciliation.  I'm still far from being 100%, but the only other option is to walk. 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

welcome to married life bro

Anonymous said...

I am happy that you have finally managed to compromise with reality. Best of luck my dear fellow.

Jake said...

Every three months seems to be when things flare up in my house too.

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