Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years

Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years: Version 2.0!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


If truth be told, things between June and I have been on the rocks ever since my last trip to the casino. This is mostly because I refuse to be reconciled. 

She gave me a seriously hard time and rode my ass for near my entire vacation.  Time that should have been spent becoming reacquainted instead turned into her trying to make me grovel.  As soon as I went back to work, she tried to smooth things over.

Fuck that. 

I've spent way too much time groveling.  I've seen her waste far more cash on ill conceived plans coupled with a lack of will to follow through more than once.

The first big one happened a few years back.  I used to run study abroad programs for kids.  I'd take em back home, sort em out with a homestay, place them in various camps with waeg kids.  I did fairly well at these, usually covering all my own expenses for me and my family.  It was full on, but well worth it for my girls.

One camp June thought it would be a great idea to go a month earlier, giving her and the girls more time to become acquainted with the folks back home.

I thought it was a good idea, and showed great initiative on her part.  She was enthusiastic and excited, since at the same time she'd get an extra month with my mom helping out with the girls.

The youngest was still quite young, but I trusted June's judgement as to her capabilities and commitment.

Unfortunately, the flight included a stopover in Tokyo.  This seemed like a good idea at the time, since we'd shave nearly a grand off the fare.

When she got to Tokyo, June came to the conclusion that traveling on her own with two young kids and baggage was not cool.  Dealing with two kids on an hour flight was enough to pretty much seal the deal.  Going through the airport and transferring caused her to have a meltdown.  She turned around and decided that she was heading back to Korea.  She canceled the tickets and bought new ones heading back to Incheon.

The first I heard of it was when she landed on Korean soil.  She called, distraught, and informed me she was getting on a bus to Seoul and that I had to come get her.

I dropped everything, canceled an evening of lucrative classes, and rushed off to Gangnam where the bus was to drop her and the kids off.  I made it in record time.  I frantically tried to find where she was.

When I finally did find her, the eldest was off wandering the street someplace while she drank beer with some Japanese guy she'd met on the plane.  He had helped her find her way to the bus and the bar.  She was laughing, greatly relieved to be someplace safe.  She was miffed that I hadn't come sooner, but was a little too tipsy to let it linger for long.

Her whole jaunt cost us 300 manners.  I was angry, but I worked hard to not let it simmer for too long.  This was a serious trial.  I didn't want the girls to see or feel too much of that.

I'm at the point now where I'm saying fuck it.  I've sucked it up, worked hard at adapting and understanding this place, given over ten years to making a life for two very lovely girls and an ingrate drama queen.  I'm tired of dealing with her and her Korean soap opera bullshit. 

Hard to say where it goes from here.


Rob said...

Funny that I came across this post which really echoes my situation. My Korean wife of two years caught me slapping the salami a couple nights ago. She'd gone to bed at 8, and I'd decided to relieve myself around 11, and guess who walks in on me. To me it's not a big deal, but to her it's the end of the line. She's talking divorce, saying I have a mental disease, and has locked herself into the bedroom. That doesn't stop her from texting hate all day while I'm at work trying to entertain kids so she can buy clothes and shoes. It's that time of the month for her, and I'm used to monthly insanity, but I'm not sure I can take it anymore. I don't have kids but reading your post really scares me. What's the point of marriage - especially in a place like Korea. If she wants a big D, maybe I won't stop her. This is a good blog, and maybe you should start an advice column. There are tons of us in the same boat, and you've sailed further than most.:))

David tz said...

already there boys, and although it's been a tough and trying time, I'm kind of relieved it's coming to a close. In hindsight, I almost wished it had happened sooner.

F5 visa sympathizer said...

Have been reading your blog for a while. What you describe seems to be a trend that isn't going to change. I have a feeling you are hiding some of the really dumb shit your wife has done but what you write would have been enough for me to walk long ago. One thing I hate is money continually wasted for no reason or being the fault of everything when i haven't caused the situation at all, the kind of problems it seems you are facing. The problem for yourself as I am sure you know is the children complicate everything.

So you will need to pick your poison..stay and deal with shit your wife deals to you for your children or leave and figure out how to deal with the children situation later. If you leave, going by what you have written on here your wife will make it hell for you to take the kids. She will fall apart at some point though. I would walk if I were you and I am sure you can somehow take the kids with you as well. Your wife might snap into gear if that happens...could be the only way.

I know quite a few guys in your position married to a Korean (jn some cases much too quickly - 6 to 12 months after meeting) and a couple of years after marriage they dont know where they went wrong. Problem is almost all the power in F-visa relationships here is through the Koreans side which is only natural, this being Korea. They have to walk away from everything as the wife isnt going to give them a cent (or won).

As for myself...I dated my current wife for 5.5 years before we married just to be sure there were none of these batshit Korean woman tendancies I see so often. Married for 4 and still very happy...maybe 1 argument a year. She was a diamond in the rough. I almost got married to a crazy woman (japanese though) before this one and got out just in time so was a lot more cautious this time around. I hope you can find your diamond as well.....

Anonymous said...

My dear man.

Surely you must have known that the vast majority of Koreans who marry fugly foreigners are from the lower end of the social ladder before committing yourself.The bottom of the barrel-socially,physically,mentally, and more often than not, emotionally. You wouldn't have had a chance in hell with the high-class old money toffs who all speak perfect English despite having spent the vast majority of their lives in Korea. They are all very PC, but would never dream of marrying a foreigner. Who would be willing to marry an ESL teacher? I don't buy that you work for a 'petrochemical company' for one BS IMO:) Let's be honest, you got a MUCH better deal here than what you would have gotten back home. What hideous creature would you eventually have ended up with(assuming that you manage to get some pussy AT ALL)? A morbidly obese beached whale, no doubt...At least you have the whole exotic thing going for you here. YOU chose YOUR own battle,YOU made YOUR own bed, now deal with your shit like a man.

F5Waeg said...

Haters gonna hate.

I'm sure my girls will love reading your anonymous assessment when they come of age. I'll just tell them this is what early 21st century entitled women who lacked courage and confidence would write about their own when they knew that an awesome dude like me wouldn't even hate fuck them if paid. Enjoy the show.

Rob: maybe she expects you to visit the room salons instead?

David tz: if it does happen I'm sure I'll be saying the same thing

sympathizer: now there lies the rub. You summarize it succinctly. I'm sure I'm expected to do that traditional Korean thing, which is to suck it up and work until late and never see the fam, as I'm too busy in the office until nine then out getting drunk in room salons pretending that I'm actually forming relationships with the girls there. Not my thing.

Jake in Korea said...

Rob's comment made my day.

Spike said...

Your marriage is not that much different than most people's.

Have a good rant, get it off your chest, look at your girls and forgive your wife. If not verbally, at least mentally.

Afterall, she is a woman and by nature a bitch.

F5Waeg said...

sure, but no, I don't think so.

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