Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years

Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years: Version 2.0!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Dirty Bird Returns!

Last night I got a call while working late.  It was from the guy we all call Dirty Bird.

Our conversation went like this:

Me: (not recognizing the number) Yoboseyo?
DB: Dude!  Seriously, you going native?  Yoboseyo hahaha!  Hey, Guess who??!
Me:  um, Jeff?
DB: Ha! Naw it's *****, bud!  How you doing?!  Long time no speak!!
Me: (blanching) uh, yeah, hey how are ya. . . 
DB: Dude! Man, my hogwon turned to shit! you remember that crazy number I was with, Ji Soo?  She totally went psycho on me man, trashed my apartment and told my boss I was a perv and probably a drug addict, dude!  Lady called the cops, I had to give some blood work which thankfully was clean!  yeah man, things really fit the shan, you know what I'm saying, so I decided to bug outta there for a while, try the provinces for a while, like you know?  A recruiter told me about a job here in the Wonj, and I thought of the times we had, so guess what?  I'm back!
Me: . . . . 
DB: Yeah dude, it'll be great! Let's catch up!  I'm at that soju tent place, the one with the huge white roof, come on out dude!  Let's get our drunk on!
Me:  impossible tonight my man.  I'm at work see, in for the long haul tonight, and need to be on the lay low after my adventures this weekend.  But hey, glad to hear from you mang.  Call me later aight?

DB:  you have got to be shitting me!  Come on, we haven't seen each other in like forever!  Let's meet up, you can work when you're dead!
Me: No can do bud.  Besides, you know I'm married with kids, fam van driving guy.  I'm sure we'll have some time later.
DB: ah, well bud, I was hoping I could stay at your place a few days, I'm a little light on cash and the school says they'll hook me up with a place in a bit. . .

This is not happening.

Me: Damn, that totally sucks mang.  But the girls are having a sleep over tonight, there are like 10 rugrats running around (which is thankfully true), even my Mother-in-Law pissed off to the jimjilbang tonight.  Why not try that out?  There is a good one called Aqualand, it's pretty cheap. . . 
DB: no prob dude, I'll be quiet.  Just for a couple of nights.  Are you still at XYZ apartment?
Me: yeah sure, but that's seriously a no go bud.  Head on down to the sauna and crash out, call me later.

DB is hurt, but there is no way I'm going out tonight, and not a chance I'm letting him know where I've moved.  He dropped it before I had to spell it out for him.  I asked him where he would be working, some major chain that has sprung up like stank mushrooms on every block, in a location that has just been built up.

Dirty Bird is pure chaos, bringing insanity and destruction wherever he goes.  I'm sure at some point I'll see him, and while not surprised he's broke, I'm sure he can afford a few nights at a sauna.  If need be I'll give him a few manners, but there is no way I'm letting him into my apartment.

Something tells me things are about to enter the weird.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like a staple English teacher, fresh off the boat after escaping uni. These are the dipturds we gotta keep out of the country. If I was you I woulda hung up on him.

F5Waeg said...

while not all English teachers are like that, this guy is the epitome of the frat boy who never grew up. I won't be meeting up with him, but Wonju being fairly small, now I'll have to watch where I go if I decide to go walkabout.

Anonymous said...

fucking english teacher go home. korea is not playground for the shit. just you inviting asshole into our country if you friendly to idiot. please don't do like that.

F5Waeg said...

say please again

Jake @ said...

I like this Dirty Bird dude already. Though I have to disagree with anonymous; I'd say that Korea is definitely a "playground for the shit".

F5Waeg said...

Can he stay at your place?

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