Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years

Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years: Version 2.0!

Friday, December 3, 2010


Most people I know don't think of me as an asshole.

Most of the time I'm not.

But I am quite adept on how to tap into it.

I have yet to show the fuck in charge of the parents' association at the kindergarten just what kind of asshole I can be.

I do have just cause.

He has embarrassed me on two occasions, once in front of the eldest.

One time we were planting vegetables.  The kindergarten kids do that to make the kimjang.

I was having a good time chatting with the eldest.

He told me I should only speak Korean to her.

He went on about it for more than an hour.  Little snips here, little snips there.

Then he said I didn't have a straight mind because my row for sweet potatoes wasn't at specifically 90 degrees.

The only thing I could do was laugh at him.  If being straight means being 100% Korean, well guess what?

I'm not.

Go fuck yourself.

I completely hate that fucker and can't bring myself to commit to the kindergarten 100%, even though I think its a solid idea.  But I suppose that is his plan since he can't even begin to really compete with my sheer awesomeness, so he has to rely on nationalistic tropes to make his day go by.

I should only speak Korean to my kids?

Yeah well, I'm a waeg.  The only hint they get of that life is from me and when waeg buddies show up.

Every day is a fucking hangul festival.

Maybe he's just pissed that the eldest has already won two prizes for her Korean and one for English.  Ha!

Wait, did I say this yet?

Go fuck yourself.

I need to seriously get in touch with my inner asshole, and stop being such a fucking nice guy all the time.  Thing is, I don't want the girls to see it.  They'll obviously get enough about how the white man is an asshole from shitheads like him.

They'll learn to hate themselves proper.

Maybe I should just stop investing so much time and energy into trying to fit in if really there is no place for me.


The Todd said...

Take it with a grain of red pepper powder. This blog is, for the most part, a refreshingly positive spin on the waeg experience. And I like that you identify this guy as simply an asshole, and not a Korean asshole (even though he is one). He's probably older than you, and doesn't like how you don't kiss his ass (especially because he's the kindergarten king - as if that's something to be proud of). Consider that this guy was born and bred in Korea, grew up in the era of Park Chung Hee, and probably had to drink mukoli until he puked all over himself in the army. You come from different worlds. Maybe he's jealous of your kids being so awesome. Just smile and nod and laugh it off. Nothing wrong with being a nice guy, or an asshole from time to time to time. But there is a time and a place.

Lesser Klaus said...

Sorry, that is rough. However I can't understand why you are worried about what your daughter might think. Kids always surprise their parents about how perceptive they are. Likely your daughter feels bad for you and would have been proud had you stood up to a bully.

You don't want her to see you being rancorous of course. You can tell him how he is a jerk though, and if you're reasonable about it you will seem like the bigger man, which is exactly the lesson you want to teach your daughter.

But, easy for me to say. Best of luck!

F5Waeg said...

I did tell him to mind his own business and go fuck himself. He's a bit younger than me Todd, which of course makes it a worse rub. Most of the guys at the kindergarten are cool, but this guy and a couple of his buds deserve a can of whoopass.

The Todd said...

Let's get em. I'm looking under my bed for my nunchuks as we speak. Once my gitch come out of the dryer I'm out the door. I shit you not. Shits goin down!

Anonymous said...

this blog is a rare positive experience of a guy prospering and liking Korea, keep this shit up!

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