Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years

Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years: Version 2.0!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Surprise!

Last night I got a late night call from an old waeg buddy of mine.

He was drunk and somewhat incoherent.  He asked me to come meet him.

Despite it being really late, I knew something was up so I trekked out.

His night had started out fairly nice: he met his girlfriend of two years, had dinner, a few drinks.

It was when they went to the cafe for after dinner coffee that things got weird. 

His girlfriend told him they had to break up.  She is getting married Saturday, and it probably won't be appropriate for them to see each other anymore.

She then handed him a nice envelope that contained an invitation.

Now this caused his wiring to short circuit.  He had been planning on asking her to get married in a couple of weeks.  He had even bought a ring.  He had no idea that she had this that and the other thing on the go. 

So I did the only thing a guy can do in that situation:  I got drunk and ranted on about harlots and how he had just had his life handed back to him.

He didn't seem too convinced.  But he's pretty resilient, I'm sure he'll be alright.

Eventually.

This morning I'm feeling a bit tired.

Time for coffee.

11 comments:

jakeinkorea said...

Cafes seem like popular places to break up in Korea. I'm thinking this is because the public setting prevents any physical violence from either party.

Zilchy said...

Whoa. He didn't see anything that might have indicated she was seeing a Korean fellow on the side AND THAT SHE IS NOW GETTING MARRIED! TWO YEARS!

She gave him an INVITATION! I'm pissed off for him.

Anonymous said...

Fuck. I'm pissed off too. So does this mean she was only dating him for amusement? And that she knew she was eventually going to dump him for a Korean guy? She probably has to "keep the race pure". I've heard this same shit from a Korean guy I dated. Said he hated kids and never wanted to get married but told me he and I would never be more than friends because he has to marry a Korean woman (through an arranged marriage, no less) and have Korean children. No, Koreans aren't racist. Not at all. And I'm not fucking bitter either. I feel so bad for your friend. What a fucking bitch. Why do Korean people feel it's okay to play with foreigner's emotions when they're dating? It feels like being treated as though we're less than human. I hate it. It definitely turned me off of dating Koreans again. I hope your friend is okay.

F5Waeg said...

Women are women no matter what country they're from. Guy she is planning on marrying is a dentist with an established practice, i.e. loaded. Some women are gold diggers, some aren't.

jakeinkorea said...

This also happened to a British friend of mine who was dating a Korean woman. His solution was to just continue dating her after she got married, which she didn't seem to have any problem with (!). The whole sordid affair finally stopped when the Korean husband caught them together.

As a side note, this should only re-enforce the fact that men should never fall for the whole "you have to buy a ring ahead of time and surprise her on bended knee" bullshit. Before you do that, think long and hard about how you're going to go about returning a diamond ring if your girlfriend decides to pull this kind of shit.

Zilchy said...

F5Waeg,

While I agree with your assessment on the "gold digger" reality, because this scenario happened in S. Korea, I can't help but wonder if "racial purity" et al, was truly the reasoning behind this abomination. I realize you are married to a native Korean, but I see your wife as the exception to the majority, who view Korean conformity above all else, even logic or personal satisfaction.

Also, no intended offence to your friend, but after two years of "relations", I find it hard to believe he somehow did not see any signs that may have led him to believe something was not quite right. Especially when it is somewhat common knowledge that Korean couples tend to marry quite quickly, following a brief dating period. Was he introduced to her parents at any time during the 2 year stint? If you were serious about a woman, would you not want to meet the in-laws, make your intentions know to all family members involved? After all, he was all set to propose marriage and give her a ring-a-ding-ding.

Zilchy said...

Jake,

The second paragraph of your last post would seem to only apply to a situation similar to the one at hand, IE a Korean or other Asian female.

If the scenario was a case of western male-western female, as the male, I believe I(we) would be more in tune with the situation and able to better assess the solidarity of the situation.

Clearly, the F5Weag's friend got blind-sided by cultural norms unfamiliar to himself, or any of us.

F5Waeg said...

Zilchy,

Maybe she didn't want to leave Korea, maybe she didn't want to risk alienating her family, maybe she wanted an easier life without dealing with people saying "oh you're married to a foreigner. . ."

Hard to tell what she was thinking.

Thing she didn't get is that my buddy is actually quite well off, he's simply not the ostentatious type.

He never met the parents, since they were against their daughter dating a foreign guy. That should have been a red flag. He didn't think so, as he thought it was kind of normal for some people to think that way and that he could eventually win the father over. She was cool with him. I actually liked her.

I will say that most of the waegs I know married to Koreans (male and female) have only been received warmly by their inlaws.

F5Waeg said...

As an update, dude is getting married next week to an awesome woman

Anonymous said...

I dated a korean man 4 years ago. We was engaged. I meet her family but they never liked me because I´m a foreign. One day we decided to marry but because of his mother was against our relationship, he ended our engagement and then leave me alone in Korea.
So sorry for your friend, but is better he isn´t married to that dishonest korean bitch. BTW, every time I read about this kind of shit, it makes me feel more nauseous about koreans and their double standard society.
pd. Sorry for my bad english, it isn´t my native language....

F5Waeg said...

That sucks. I keep hearing many of the same stories... Here's hoping you find someone cool.

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