Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years

Living in Wonju South Korea, These Many Long Years: Version 2.0!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Race Traitors!

Yesterday when walking around gangnam I saw a couple of white girl / Korean guy couples.

One of the girls looked at me like I was a piece of gum that had gotten stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

Lately there has been a lot of talk and new blogs from the western female in Korea dating locals point of view.

A common criticism is that western men give them a hard time for dating Korean dudes.

The Irony is palpable!

When I first came to Korea, the ratio of mixed couples definitely favored the white guy / Korean girl variety.  For guys in this situation such as yours truly, their worst enemy was Korean guys, but that was followed closely by white women.  They'd say stoopid shit like "You only date Korean girls because they're more submissive" -or- "You are a closet pedophile for wanting to sleep with someone that skinny".  Google Charisma man and you get the idea.

Those were the days!

The amount of grief I used to get from white girls for marrying my wife was ridiculous.

Well you've come a long way baby!

Now the shoe is on the other foot.

Personally, I encourage white girls to date Korean guys.  As frequently as possible.  This works for me in several ways:

1- Korean guys don't give me as much grief
2- I believe that the best way to improve the human gene pool is to breed outside your ethnic group
3- Korean guys don't give me as much grief
4- White girls in Korea don't whine as much as they used to since they too are getting some
5- Everybody becomes happier!

It is amazing how much has changed in Korea in such a short time, and one thing that is definitely changing are views towards mixed race couples.  Too bad for that to happen required Korean dudes buying wives in South East Asia and getting their freak on with white girls.  Oh well, better late than never I suppose.


Prestigee Korea said...

The boom in white girls dating tons of Korean guys is great. It keeps them occupied, and less likely to complain about Korea non-stop from morning to night.

There are lots of attractive white girls in Korea. The only problem is that you have to learn Russian to communicate with them!

Anonymous said...

Whenever I'm out with my Korean boyfriend he always gets asked if I'm Russian. It used to bother me but I'm used to it now. On the other hand, I was kind of offended for Korean men, because it seemed like other Koreans were saying that no western woman would want to date a Korean man unless she was being paid, as if Korean men aren't damn fine looking and have other great qualities that would attract foreign women. Also, no offense to the white guys but most of the white expats I've met here so far are the type that women back in the west wouldn't fuck with someone else's vagina. There are exceptions to this, but they're rare.

I'm no Picasso said...

What's with all the nastiness? Why is everyone so set on taking digs at each other, meanwhile complaining about the digs other people are taking at them?

There is a lot of ugliness on all sides of this issue, and I just don't understand it. But I will suggest that most of the company I keep -- both on the internet and in real life, both male and female, both Korean and Western -- behaves with a lot of respect toward the other groups. As for randoms on the street, fuck 'em. The only reason anyone has to comment on who anyone else is dating is sheer jealousy and insecurity.

Rise above it.

And just as a side note, saying things like, "Too bad for this to happen requires Korean dudes getting their freak on with white girls," is not entirely helpful. I assume you are not just "banging" your wife, and wouldn't really appreciate a Western woman referring to your relationship as such....? And I, for one, would not presume that there is anything "too bad" about that at all.

F5Waeg said...

Why the hostility? Is my post really that nasty? Seems to me fairly positive, and an accurate assessment of how things were and are. You shouldn't be so defensive, seeing as I'd be the last to criticize or judge you for how you choose to live your life.

When I first came to Korea, most of the waeg women (WW) I knew weren't at all interested in Korean guys. That has changed, which is a good thing. What has also changed is that WW generally don't say as much as they used to about K-women when I'm around, but then I don't get out as much.

That so many WW came down on those of us who dated Korean women is a fact. Hanging out with some WW was hard if they knew you were dating a Korean, since the conversation would inevitably turn to WW demeaning Korean women (they have no curves, they look like teenagers, how can you have a conversation with them, they wear too much makeup, they have no concept of independence, can't set up a tent, put air in the tires, they're too girly etc etc) and your motivations and intent in dating them (you aren't mature enough to date a real woman, you need someone to take care of you, you lack the game to get someone like me etc etc). I'm simply sharing anecdotes, experiences that many long term male expats in Korea know too well.

And where do I talk about 'banging'? Facts are facts: the perception of mixed couples in Korea has changed. A number of factors could be at play, but the fact that Korean men do import a lot of wives is not something that can be ignored. That WW find Korean guys more attractive than ten years ago is also indicative of the changes that have occurred in this society.

These changes in the dating reality have led to someone like me now being able to get an F5 visa, something that was impossible ten years ago. It took Korean men mixing it up to bring about many of these changes, as women who married outside the clan became non people, and their waeg spouses were stuck with yearly visas doing crap work. Don't see how you could really not see this as fact or why you'd get so worked up about it.

F5Waeg said...

What's really wrong is how things were before 2002.

It wasn't until 1998 that Korean men marrying foreign woman surpassed Korean women marrying foreign men, and even then it was by a thin margin. The statistics have since shown a massive increase in marriages favoring Korean males and foreign females

At around the same time, in 2001, the Minstry of Gender Equality finally gets some teeth and can make changes to end sexual discrimination in Korean society.

Before 2002, the only visas that could be earned by foreign men married to Korean women were the F1 visa, or a specific job visa such as the E2 English teaching visa. F2 visas, (scroll down to the section on F visas) or permanent resident visas, were restricted exclusively to foreign women married to Korean men (will provide a more accurate link soon).

Korean women were thus disadvantaged when compared to their male counterparts, as by law a foreign spouse could only with great difficulty (or illegally) be the main supporter for his family. When it became apparent that in some respects, foreign women married to Korean men actually had more rights and privileges than Korean women married to foreign men due in no small part to the huge increase that was being seen in marriages between Korean men and foreign women, changes were instituted to the F series of visas.

Before that time, before more Korean men started getting their freak on with foreign women, the discrimination against foreign men / Korean women couples, the more common variety of mixed marriages, was systematic and ingrained society wide.

While other societal factors can be added to explain the changes (wealth being a big one) the facts remain that these types of couples have become more acceptable as Korean men have gained equal advantage in choosing a non Korean mate. What I find interesting is the general decrease that seems to be occurring in the overall percentage of marriages between Korean women and foreign men, but that is beyond the scope of this little post.

Also, I'm sorry you find talking about women having sex or guys getting their freak on with women as equating disrespect towards women. I don't. People does as people do.

Anonymous said...

Don't you have work to do?

I'm no Picasso said...

F5 -- I just don't really understand. This isn't a competition. And the fact that the Korean government may have fucked about with visa double standards in the past doesn't have anything to do with the Western women who date and marry Korean men today.

It's also a bit insulting to me that you would insinuate that Western women dating Korean men is helpful to you, because now the Korean men are getting some action, so they aren't going to be so jealous of you and your Korean wife anymore. I don't date the kind of men who would give a damn about you and your wife to begin with. And I am not the kind of woman who ever made hateful remarks to Western men about dating Korean women, either. You and your wife are of no concern to either me or my boyfriend. And you never were. Nor were any other Korean female/Western male pairings.

My objection to your comment was this: If I saw you and your wife walking down the street and made a comment about how you are banging Kgirls, how would that feel to you? Because, Korean men "getting their freak on with white girls" as they way you chose to phrase your reference to Korean male/Western female relationships is exactly what that feels like to me, as a woman who is dating a Korean man. He is not getting his freak on with me. We are in a relationship. And unless you feel comfortable with people refering to how you are banging a Kgirl, I would think that maybe some polite and courteous golden rule action might not go amiss.

F5Waeg said...

NP, not sure where I insinuated that there was a competition. I posted a link to your blog as an example of a blog written by a foreign female dating a Korean man. There are a lot of these types of blogs these days, most of them written by Filipinas. These types of blogs were rare to non existent 7-10 years ago.

It has happened on more than a few occasions when someone has verbally and physically assaulted my wife and I while walking down the street. All we would be doing is talking to one another, no PDA. I've been on dates and be approached by Korean men advising the woman to not sully their reputation by dating this waeg, as waegs were only concerned with using them for nefarious ends. This kind of thing has diminished over the years and I think it's indicative of changing attitudes, attitudes at least partially influenced by people like your boyfriend calling out some asshole by saying 'hey, my girlfriend is a waeg. Why don't you ram your shitty attitude up your ass?'.

I don't doubt for a second that neither you nor your boyfriend would talk trash my wife and I. But it has happened and as you've mentioned, the main thing is to try to not let it bring you down.

That said, a common complaint that I've come across in the waegosphere is how western guys seem to give women in your situation grief of various sorts. I can't rightly recall if you posted something to that effect, I'm too tired and behind my work to go digging through the blogs I know. I would never do something that crass, but I do find this complaint ironic considering my experiences here. This is what I was trying to bring out. It is ironic as more than once back in the day I'd get grief from foreign women for dating Korean women. It was meant more as a 'welcome to the club' kind of thing. You're going to get it from all sides.

Should I perhaps show more decorum in the way I describe something? Sure. At work, in a formal social situation, fine. I don't see the issue with talking about getting your freak on however, since the expression basically means to have sex. I didn't mention anything about yellow fever / white fever whatever, and trust me if I intended it that way there would be no ambiguity, but yeah I can see how you might read it that way.

Try to see the forest in this case.

Here's to many happy years for you and your boyfriend.

guy293482 said...

Most white dudes who hook up with korean girls in korea ARE definitely the "loser" type who nobody would date back home, but being in korea they get celebrity status just for looking white and all the stereotypes (good ones) that come with that look. It doesn't mean that I personally dislike them. I've met tons of white dudes and while i know right away they are the loser type, they are decent people and quite friendly. They're just fortunate to take advantage of a situation where korean girls were like little kids who knew nothing and u could impress them by just being an ugly ass white dude. But when korean girls as a country come of age, they will be like the rest of the women in the 1st world and will realize that most of these white guys are not actually as great as they thought. This is a window where ppl can take advantage of the innocence and naivete of asian girls right now as they are still pretty clueless about the rest of the world. But there are a growing number of korean girls who are waking up and realizing that white guy "deception" in korea and not falling so easily for it anymore. White guys are losing their celebrity-like special attention they used to always get as koreans grow up and move on to better things. Most of the high maintenance korean girls are crap anyways....they are so unmarriageable that korean men are FORCED to go mail order bride picking from vietname and philippines because those women are still innocent and naive and haven't become plastic surgery dolls, picky, snobby, and high maintenance shallow women who don't want kids. This is the disease of prosperity in such a short time, with materialism and hedonism at its height. Many korean girls have lost their way. But for the natural down to earth smart korean girls, those are the real rare beauties still left. Korean men need to stop buying brides from vietnam and other SE asian countries because it's just sickening.

F5Waeg said...

In my experience, most Asian dudes will say what you've written since they are still trying to catch up with what Asian women learned long ago: it's all in your head. Asian dudes can date as many white women as they want, and gain the same status of 'alpha male' as they perceive white dudes having, but instead they spend their time moaning about how hard done by they are. . . it is akin to how white dudes thought about black dudes not so long ago. . . you think you can't compete so you let the color of skin be your sole guiding principle. White dudes score more here for the same reason: they think the color of their skin means something, so they step out of their comfort zone and go for it, in a way they wouldn't have considered before. Once you realize that the rules only apply if you choose to let them, albeit in a limited fashion, you suddenly get laid way more often. If it makes you feel better, you're a racist.

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